Monday, September 20, 2010

Jesus Take the Wheel

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

There are moments in your life that carve themselves in your heart and in an instant you know you'll never be the'll never forget...God is in control.

As I sit to type this, knot in my throat, tears streaming down my face all the emotions rush back and sucker punch me like nothing I've known before. I've lived through my fair share of hard roads but even adding all of those up pales in comparison to how I feel about last night. The thought of not having this sweet little pumpkin by my side is just too much to bear...
Grace and I were on our way home from her painting class with Mrs. Laura. We had made it all the way back to town, just a few minutes from home, when suddenly we were in a car accident. The moment of impact and the seconds that followed as our car spun out of control over the side of the road and down into the trees is one I will never forget.

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock

I keep seeing the trees covering our windshield, keep feeling the back & forth jerks of the car, keep hearing my baby girl's fear stricken "Mama!" slow motion over and over again and the only thought I remember having from those horrible seconds is
"Jesus save us".

And that He did! When our car finally came to a stop, nose dive into the trees, I unbuckled my seat belt, got out and got Grace out of her carseat in what was probably 5 seconds flat. I didn't even turn the engine off. That thought haunts me as I keep thinking what if there was a gas leak, why didn't I turn the engine off. But I didn't. My only thought was to get my baby girl out and get out of the way as fast as possible.

I remember feeling the hot burn across my left shoulder and chest, feeling something wet from behind my right knee down my leg and a stabbing pain in my right hand but adrenaline is something else and a mama + adrenaline = something not to mess with. My baby girl was conscious, talking, hugging my neck as tight as ever, no visible injuries that I could tell.
God is in control.

I was holding Grace. We started making the trek toward the road, one shaky step after another (darn heels!). A gentleman appeared. He offered to carry Grace. I politely declined. He reached out, took my hand, and helped us walk up toward the road. He was a pediatrician. At a trauma hospital.
God is in control.
Someone called 911. Another gentleman turned my car off. While we waited for the paramedics, the pediatrician examined Grace's neck and clavicle since she was saying her neck hurt. He remained calm and reassuring to me when I needed it the most. He said her clavicle was intact. She would be okay. And then my tears - big hot tears - started rolling down my face as I held my baby girl tight sitting on the side of the road. God is in control.

My mom arrived minutes later, Lance and Hudson followed at the hospital. The other driver was okay. On the ambulance ride to the children's hospital, Grace told me, "This is fun. When can we do it again?" God has a sense of humor...He shares it with us through our CHILDREN. The paramedics & the hospital staff were amazing. My dear friend Bridgette met us at the hospital with Princess coloring pages, Wonder Pets, gummy bears & juice, and a Pillow Pet in hand. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for putting a smile on my little pumpkin's face in the middle of all this!
We walked away with only bruises and sprains. Grace's only "ouchies" ...from the car seat's straps. The straps that did their job flawlessly. The car seat that didn't budge an inch, the 5 pt. harness that kept her IN the car, safely restrained, her head & neck cushioned between the energy absorbing foam head restraint (a Britax Boulevard if you're wondering).

My mama nerves are shot. My prayers of thankfulness keep getting interrupted by flashbacks and what if thoughts, the alternative not plausible to my heart. Every time Grace says, "Let me give you a big hug Mama" or talks about "the big bump" and being "lost in the forest" my mind goes back to those fateful moments. And I don't know what I would do without this sweet, silly girl by my side...
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go

~Carrie Underwood

Thank you to all who have been lifting us up in prayer and helping us these past two days.
God is in control.
Thank you Jesus for taking the wheel.


Em said...

I am so grateful you are alive and both are well. I will be thanking the Lord in my prayers tonight for keeping you both safe.
My oldest was in a car accident with her Daddy when she was 3. The raw emotion connected with that memory is still painful to this day-even though they were both fine.
God IS in control. And thank God for that!

Cazra said...

Thank you for reminding me that every day we get to spend with our children is a privilidge-not a guarantee. Thank you, Lord, for protecting Jessica and her daughter. Thank you, Lord, for protecting my family as well. Jessica, I am glad you are alive and well. God bless you and your family.

Terri said...

OMG Jessica, that post had my crying. I am so happy that your are all ok. God watches over us and Jesus does take the wheel!

I was only stopping by to let you know that I mentioned you in my blog post last night. so glad that I read your post. I will hug my girls a little tighter today.
God Bless

Louley's Belles said...

OH MY WORD, JESSICA! I just got out of my mouth, hoping that your trips to my house were worth your drive! I am so sorry that happened to you!!!!!! I hope you are doing ok, will call and check on you later!

Sweet P Preston said...

Prayers for you an Grace. I was so scared when Lance called Thomas. Thankful that you are all physicially ok. Love to yall.

Cricket said...

OH you had me in tears as well!! I am so glad to hear that you girls are okay!! Awesome! yes God is in control!! HOpe you aren't too sore this week!!

The Hills said...

Tears rolling down my cheeks, I'll say a little prayer for you and the little pumpkin. I'll be praying that God will give you peace and calm your thoughts(and memory), and remember, He is ALWAYS in control. Any unsettling feelings, lift to the Lord. I'm gld you and grace are okay. I was in a car accedent a little over a year ago, and I still get chills sometimes when I think back to it. Keep praying the Lord will bring you peace. <3

Heather L. said...

Jessica, I am crying right now! I am so very sorry this happened to you. Are you ok? Physically, I mean? I am SO relieved that Grace is ok. I can only imagine how scary this was for you. Please know that you are in my prayers today and every day.

Big (((HUGS))) to you, sweet friend!

Kris said...

Oh dear....what a horrible thing to go through. Thank God you are fine! I imagine you will be quite shook up for a bit. Rest up and take care!

Brittanie Gordon said...

Thank goodness you are both alright! I can't even imagine how scary that must have been!

Queen of Good Intentions said...

Praise our Heavenly Father!! Knowing He is in control is the only way to go through each day. I am constantly amazed at how I can relate to you and our commonalities. A year and a half ago we were on our way to see the broadway production of Annie and were rear ended hard by a drunk driver and pushed through an intersection where we hit another car. Momma power hit and I had my 7 yr old out on the payment without knowing I had pulled her out. I heard her scream am I dying. She was passed out and covered in liquid. I was horrified. She was fine- she had fainted. When she came too she had no idea what had happened. We where 2 hours out of town. After an er trip we actually saw the end of Annie covered in blood-she insisted and we said anything you want. I was unable to drive for months. I felt everything you are feeling. He constantly wants to remind us He is in control!! I will keep you in my prayers!

Virginia said...

There are no words to express what I feel in my heart... all words of THANKS and PRAISE to GOD and JESUS for keeping you both safe during that ordeal. As a Mom, you never want to hear the words that your child has been in an accident: I know, I've been there. With this one it was even worse: daughter AND granddaughter involved!
THANKS BE TO GOD, JESUS and your Guardian Angels to whom I pray every night. Definitely, God is always in control.
I love you both more than you'll ever know. Wish I could keep you safe and protected in my arms, wrapped like a cocoon... that is impossible for me but not for GOD!
All my love, Mom/Noonie

Spears said...

Oh Jessica, I'm so sorry! I will be praying for you as you heal emotionally from the accident. So glad neither of you were hurt!!!

Melanna said...


You don't know me, but I've been reading your blog for the past couple of months. I love your family. Sometimes I wish we lived in the same city so we could be friends in real life! Want to move to Canada??

I read this post in the middle of the night when I was up feeding my littlest little. I cried. I held her tighter and I prayed for your family. You've been on my mind ever since. I'm so thankful that both you and Grace are safe and sound! God truly watches over us. Thanks for the reminder of how precious life is.

Lili said...

thank you Lord for everything!

be safe!

Mendy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mendy said...

Yes, thank you for this reminder of how precious life is and the time we get to spend with our sweet little ones. Praise be to the Lord for keeping you safe and may He continue to bless you and yours.

Amber said...

I know I have already told you before, but I am so thankful that God was watching over you and G! I can;t imagine loosing such an amazing friend!!! Espcially before we have even had the chance to meet...I think we need to start planning that :) I have had you and G on my mind and heart since I read your text the day it happened. I hope you are starting to get some peace over the accident and that the imagines start to fade. Still sending up lots of prayers for you both and for Lance & Hudson too.

Angela said...

Oh my word, I am sitting here balling my eyes out after reading that. I am so thankful that everyone is okay. God IS in control. Praise the Lord for protecting you and your precious baby! Whew!

Brandi said...

So glad that you guys are ok. That had to have been soooo scary. Thank God for keeping you both safe!!!!

Kelli said...

That song always makes me tear up but now it really will each time I hear it and think of this post. Will keep you in my prayers as you recover. This is another reminder as others have said that yes GOD is always in control and how precious each day is.
Thinking of you

Jennifer said...

Bless your heart! I am crying reading this. That is my greatest fear-something happening to my kids. Oh my! I am so glad y'all are ok. Prayers for you guys tonight!

Lori Beth said...

As a mama, I too like many cried through your post of the accident. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I pray everytime I get into my car with my kids that God stays close to us. Words just don't express how scary that must have been for you. Again, I'm so sorry and glad you and your Grace are both okay. You are so right, God is in Control and taking care of us every second. Praying for healing of your bruises and bad memories. :)

Kelli Staggs said...

God bless you and your beautiful daughter. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I will hug my sweet Gracie a little tighter tonight.

Jessica said...

I really have no words to thank you for the outpouring of love & support you have shown me. Your prayers mean the world to me. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH for lifting my family up in prayer!

The England Family said...

I'm crying tears of joy for you and Grace right now. SO thankful that the two of you are okay and that you made it through such a horrific event with just minor scrapes and bruises. God is definitely in control and I am so thankful He was in control during the accident. Hugs!!

The England Family said...

I'm crying tears of joy for you and Grace right now. SO thankful that the two of you are okay and that you made it through such a horrific event with just minor scrapes and bruises. God is definitely in control and I am so thankful He was in control during the accident. Hugs!!

Teresa said...

oh Jessica, I'm reading your post with tears in my eyes and a big lump in my throat. I'm so glad to hear everyone is alright, albeit shaken and shocked. Take care of yourself and your little angel. xox

tessie said...

I had goosebumps when you revealed the helpful stranger was a pediatrician...what a blessing! Glad you are both okay.

Anonymous said...

God Love you and your precious daughter! Sue

Cheyenne said...

God is in control. Praying that in the following days you can find peace amongst the haunting thoughts. I'm so grateful you and your little sweetpea are okay...

TaDa! Creations said...

I can't stop thinking of and praying for you Jessica. Thank you Lord for sparing Jessica and Grace.

Have you written your letters yet? I still need to do mine. And I know I'll never think of this song the same way again either. Cherish every moment my friend. ((HUGS))

Ribbons and Pigtails said...

That was the most heart wrenching thing that I have read all day. I think any mom would be feeling sick to her stomach at the mere thought of something like this occurring!

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story, and mostly for praising His name!


Jessica said...

Thank you all for all your love and prayers! Means so much!!

Angel~ I have some of my letters written but I need to do better and do one for each one EVERY YEAR! Thanks for the reminder! ((Hugs))

God Made Playdough said...

I know you don't know me but I've been following your wonderfully creative blog for a little while now. I had tears streaming down my cheeks when I read this! How scary for you! I was in a car accident last year with both my precious daughters in the car, the car was totalled but thanfully we were okay. You are so right, God is in control! So thankful you both were safe!

Jessica said...

Thank you so much and I'm glad both you and your two daughters are okay too!!! Such a scary thing :(

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